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Whenever you see 1, color it in yellow. It is hard work. Try a variety of dates. God will help you both work this out. But she probably is more in love with the idea of you, than with you. I would never ever choose a different path. I believe in temple marriage, and in the importance of those covenants. I knew intern year would be brutal and I hoped residency would be a little better, and it was. I know it will get better over time. I am not sorry I married outside the LDS faith.
Reconciling this with the doctrine of temple marriage is trickier. Yes, it is bad. Would you rather give up the prospect of being married in the temple, the assurance of children being raised in the church, and parts of Mormon culture for your boyfriend, or a great man for your beliefs. Their pain is guarded within the confines of their professional experience.