New joke: A survey shows that 90 per cent of American men now sleep on their stomachs. Go to the mirror, chaps. David Letterman reports that while doctors estimate John Wayne Bobbitt may be able to function sexually in two years, it will be five years before he will enter a Benihana Japanese steak house. But can it pick up peanuts? Why is mutilation such a source of humor? The press and the late-night comedians have never had so much fun. Why is all this suddenly funny? The reason, of course, is that the organ in question is inherently goofy looking. An architect could have done it better. God must have been a woman to achieve such revenge.
Sound off in the comments below!
More from TV
The news sent a shock wave through the misogynist community like a frickin' A-bomb. Gigolos everywhere were hiding in fear. Codpiece and athletic-cup sales hit an all-time high. I know guys who literally threw away all sharp objects in their apartments and replaced their silverware with plasticware. I remember thinking, "This is exactly the reason why marriage is a bad idea. Wives cutting off wangs in the middle of the night The horror! Maybe we should stick to the rivers and lakes that we're used to and just all bite down on our cyanide tablets and get this show on the road already. I cannot imagine any scenario where I would want to settle down, marry someone, and risk the greater good and longevity of my genitalia. The majority of the women I've dated thus far have been absolutely psychotic razor wounds on the wrist, palms as ashtrays, bat-shit , and granted they are mainly strippers and I fully understand sanity shall not be found in the Cuckoo's Nest, but if we're going by sheer percentages, my scientific research has led me to believe that percent of women on earth are insane and capable of cutting off a pecker.
Send us a scoop!
Fill out the form below, or call us at His former wife Lorena Bobbitt chopped off his penis back in and infamously tossed it out of a car window. And she never said sorry for her actions!
By Darren Boyle for MailOnline. A former US Marine whose penis was chopped off by his then wife has admitted he was not immediately aware that he had been severely injured. John Wayne Bobbitt, 49, was attacked by his then-wife Lorena, 46, at their home in Virginia in